Wednesday, March 29, 2006

the bee rant

okay, so i just want to throw this one out there. it seems that i can't turn on the tv, flip open a newspaper, read a magazine, etc. without seeing some asshole who has covered himself with bees. i know that you've seen this too. a stunt extravaganza, fear factor, whatever....there he is! covered in bees?! at least like 250-300,000 of the fucking things too. when can we stop being impressed with this? i really just want them to go away.

today, for example. as i was manning my usual post at the convenience store, i flipped open the "sidekick" section of the boston globe to get my daily dose of dilbert and calvin and hobbes. first page, dude in bees, on rollerblades. damn. turns out he was covered in 260,000 bees to celebrate the opening of a new subway in sri lanka or something. now don't get me wrong, i am a man who is all in favor of mass transit, but i certainly didn't feel the need to swarm myself with stinging insects when boston opened the new silver line. maybe you set off some fireworks, go grab a beer, whatever.

final observation:....the sheer logistics of it. first of all, he must have been somewhere near the new subway and not near his home, where he theoretically keeps this collection of celebratory bees. so question one is transportation. how do you move 260,000 bees? does he throw them on at home, then head out for the day? do they follow him there? maybe they were just feral bees in the area that he happened to get along with. which begs the further question of why anyone would set up a subway in an area known to be populated by hundreds of thousands of bees. i don't know. i give up on this particular stupid human trick. end bee rant.


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