Wednesday, March 29, 2006

we do chicken right...and sometimes not at all!

as i was driving home from work tonight, i just remembered what has got to be my wierdest single fast food experience....admittedly, of which there are many, being a professional fat guy....anyway, this was back in college, so three, four, five years ago, whatever. it was late in the evening, probably a weekend, and i was doing absolutely nothing as usual, just driving around in my car. i think it was me and my buddy gillespie. eventually, hours of aimlesness found us hungry, and we headed to the nearest KFC drivethru with dreams of triple crunch zingers (general note of interest: anything with the word 'zinger' in it is automatically good) and tater wedges.

but, alas, it was not to be. when we looped around to the talk box, we were informed that they were out of chicken.

let's let that sink in, for just a moment.

this kentucky fried chicken, as the drivethru employee so matter-of-factly informed, was completely out of an ingredient that they use so much that mention of it is made in their name. welcome to kentucky fried chicken, we have no chicken. i ask you, who fucked up on that week's chicken order?

either way, i would be remiss if i didn't mention how that kind of limits the breadth and scope of the kfc menu. i think we went to wendy's after that, driving the whole way in a kind of a stunned silence, neither of us wanting to mention what had just happened. it kind of rocks your sense of security, you know? like your first earthquake....if you can't depend on the ground to remain solid, what can you depend on??? and if you can't depend on kfc to have some fucking chicken, then nothing, i guess is really sacred or guaranteed. the lesson i learned that hot, florida night is that you cannot depend on anything, and you can never, ever take anything for granted.

on a not unrelated sidenote, the subject for this entry was 'we do chicken right!' which was kfc's slogan throughout the 80's (and therefore, my formative years). i find it remarkable that this is the only one i can remember out of all the fast food slogans i have seen come and go in my admitedly short span of conciousness. mcdonald's has had many, and the only one i can ever remember is the current one....i'm lovin' it....which i am not, actually.

wtv. i felt like i needed an entry with a lighter, flakier texture after that last one. so this is what you get. someone keep me away from my keyboard.


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