Saturday, August 19, 2006

i can't believe it's not bullshit

origionally posted january 20, 2006

okay, so before i get this bloggie under way, i want to state for the record, that i am a liiiiiiitle bit don't read this with a 'concernicus' look on your face, read it with....a grain of salt, i suppose....yeah, don't read it fact, you better go to that collection of wierd sunglasses that you have (i know you have it somewhere, everyone does) and grab a whacky pair....then read it thru those. that's how i want this bloggywog read, thru a wacky, wacky pair of sunglasses.....okay.

that being established, i feel that it is my duty as a member of the modern greek nation (though i am but a halfie, i could still be required to serve in the greek army if i were to relocate, so i consider myself legit), and as an unwitting witness to the horror that is daytime television in america to mention this commercial to the roaring, seething masses.

it's for "i can't believe it's not butter" and it is aimed squarely at the bored housewife looking for an escape from a) her household chores, and b) her trashy romance novel designed to give her escape from her household chores...but anyway, heres the scene, let me set it for you:

everywoman walks into diner setting, sits down, contemplates menu. swarthy "ethnic" woman approaches our hero and makes random inquiries to everywoman's desires. everywoman says something about needing a rich buttery taste or some such fucking bullshit. to which the swarthy woman replies: "heeeeey niiiikos! the gold key..."

nikos responds, steppng forward from the seductive mists issued by the fryolator..... holding up a golden key suspended by a thick golden chain draped like lovers arms around his massive tan man shoulders. together bored housewife and mysteriously seductive nikos step thru a door activated by the 'gold key' into a mystical rhealm of swimming pools and evening gowns. she is glowing, being fed a bagle by nikos loaded with a substance that she just can't beieve is not butter, while onlookers observe with knowing smiles in the postively radiant sunshine. housework and greasy spoon diners are mere memories in this wonderous dimension.....fuck!

like i i not supposed to see these commercials? beacuse i never, ever want to eat i can't believe it's not butter ever again, just based on the lack of respect they aim towards whoever they think is their target demographic with this shit. not only am i appalled that they think that any self respecting human being would so fall for the notion that they could be magically whisked away by a product..... as to remember such a ludicrous notion whilst next ressuplying the weekly family rations....and then slipping a tub of ICBINB (said product) into the cart with a wry and wistful smile, remembering nikos....the greek goon, bane to the rest of his countrymen for his antagonizingly blatant sex appeal.....

wtv, i guess this has gone on long enough......the only thing that gives me any comfort is that chuck norris CAN believe it's not butter.


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